One of my favorite artists came out with a song just a few years ago called "I am Not My Hair." Ms. India Arie's lyrics were so inspiring, as they always are, and millions of women were bopping their heads and singing every word. Unfortunately we were not singing this song with conviction but instead singing because it was catchy and for many of us deep down inside singing the words were as close as we would ever get to embracing our God-given manes with confidence.
Historically Black women have had such a complex surrounding our tresses, feeding into sayings and phrases like "good hair", "bad hair", "nigga hair", "slave hair". But what does all of this actually mean and why do we continue to suppress ourselves and our counterparts into feelings of subjectivity as if our natural tresses are not good enough? Who defines what "good hair" is?
I get so annoyed when I hear people refer to a person's hair as good or bad. Once a guy told me, "Oh you have good hair because it curls up when it's wet." Really? How dumb can you be? These are the kind of comments that contribute to the low self-esteem epidemic plaguing many of our young girls and teens. Good hair doesn't mean curly when wet. Good hair is healthy hair and the ability to rock whatever you've been blessed to have with nothing less than maximum confidence.
I started growing my relaxer out in 2009 and just recently I decided to snip the rest away. It was a bold move and took me out of my comfort zone but without discomfort there is no growth. I forced myself to become comfortable with me, just me! Many of you want to make the same move and convince yourself that you'll do it when the time is right. Well the time is now. If you're waiting until you just feel empowered and 100% confident, you'll probably be waiting forever. It's one of those things you just have to do and trust that your Creator made you unique, divine and oh so fine!
Now I don't want you to get the wrong message and think that I'm saying relaxers and weaves are wrong. I just want you to walk away understanding that how ever you decide to rock your strands, you are just as beautiful with it in its natural state. So often we become dependent on weave, lace fronts, wigs, extensions, clip-ins, sew-ins, etc. that we cannot stand looking at the real us and accept us for who we are. If you are one of the many who "freak-out" without weave or relaxers so much to the point of not being able to go in public then this is for you. Don't continue to emotionally enslave yourself when you have the key. Would you stay locked in a dungeon if you had the key to escape. The principle is the same! Only you can liberate you!
So whether its natural, relaxed, sewn in, glued in, clipped in, fused in, gelled up, slickedoff, locked, kinky, wavy, curly, puffy, coarse, thin, thick, short, medium or long .......Remember that you are Beautiful just the way you popped out of the womb and not a soul can take that away but you! Tell society and all it's images of "good hair" to kick rocks! Stay FABULOUS ;)
Live Life, Love Life,
EssenceDanielle
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